About Me

I am 32 years young, mad mummy of 3 (10, 17 &19), wife to Paul (for 10 years), new qualified Learning Disabilities Nurse and owner of lots of animals!

Friday 30 April 2010

ow!

another very enjoyable Zumba class today, not as busy as last week and no-where near as busy as we were expecting it to be!

couple of different routines again today, really felt it in my abs. Co-ordination was OKish today, I think I need to learn how to loosen up a bit for these sorts of moves -majorettes, which I did when I was little, was quite stiff and rigid movements - so need to try and get out of that.

come the end doing the stretches - we were doing the touch the floor, legs spread stretch - and Lyna came up to me and started pushing me lower! OMG I swear I thought my legs were going to snap off! I almost had my forearms on the floor as it was! my inner thighs were screaming at me! lol

but that said, after we'd finished up and once i tentatively managed to get down the stairs with legs that felt like jelly, I was back to dancing down the street (to be fair, I had wanted to dance up it too before class but held myself back)- yeah no matter how much Zumba wears me out, it also gives me a huge buzz too which lasts for hours! Mel and I had a nice ice lolly in the car... which I managed to get all over me and gave Mel quite a laugh.

I've kept up with the stretches since I've got home in the hope I wont be sore tomorrow - I am really quite chuffed I could stretch so far! and I'm ALWAYS chuffed when I manage to get the end of a class without having wimped out at some point!

Thursday 29 April 2010

4 weeks post-op

it was 4 weeks ago today that our lovable lump of a dog, Robbie, had his operation at the University of Glasgow small animal hospital for his laryngeal paralysis, and there is not a day that has gone by where I don't think it's the best money we ever spent! it really has transformed his life!

OK, he potentially could have gone on for the rest of his life not having the op, but his quality of life was so poor - he still wanted to go for walks, he still wanted to bark at the birds and chase Sophie about the garden - and you could tell it was getting him so down that he couldn't do these things without ending up gasping for breath within 30 seconds. Now, if he had been giving us signs that he was fed up and was ready to let go... it would have been different - but you could tell he was still so eager to keep going, and as long as he's willing to fight, so are we.

Having the op has meant some changes to his life. He's now only allowed tinned food, he's not allowed anything dry or dusty - that includes biscuit treats- as his larynx is now permanently half open and dust getting into his lungs could cause pneumonia, so instead of those he's been getting sausages and meatballs - he's yet to complain! but it does mean me going to asda every week and picking up some 14 of the large tins of dog food!

We celebrated today by giving him a carrot - his all time favourite treat! he's not had one in 4 weeks and you can tell how much he enjoyed it :) we're quite fortunate that his favourite treat is OK for him to still have.

His hair is growing back really well around where he had the surgery on his neck - another month and i don't think there'll be any noticeable difference!

as I type, he lays snoring at my feet - love him so much! xxx

so tired

I think my thyroid must be playing up again. it's borderline for being under-active whenever I have blood tests done but I am sure it dips below the line a fair amount in between the tests - days like today, where it took me ages just to get my eyes open this morning...

those who have thyroid problems will understand, it's not about being lazy or can't be bothered, which a lot of people pass it off as, it's so much more than that - it's an all consuming total exhaustion where even just the smallest things take so much effort.

Now, I struggle to get out of bed on a good day, I don't think I've ever been a morning person, but when my levels dip - it's 100x worse, like today where I was actually awake for a good while before I could muster up the energy to open my eyes...

I hope it passes soon.

Wednesday 28 April 2010

yaaaaaaawn!

I just can't seem to keep my eyes open at the moment, obviously this lack of sleep and lack of appetite over these past few days have caught up with me... that added to the zumba in sauna conditions yesterday, then going to asda (which I practically danced around!) - it's all caught up with me today *yawns* - I may be the duracell bunny (according to Mel anyway) but even my batteries run out from time to time.

I've been going round and round in circles for a good part of the afternoon looking for a particular top that I want to take to change into after Zumba on friday - could I find it ANYWHERE? could I heck!

I was pulling everything off the shelving, the drawers, the baskets with the yet-to-be-sorted clean clothes, the baskets with the yet-be-to-washed clothes.... i was literally going around in circles knowing it had to be somewhere and convinced I must just keep looking past it.

I ended up eventually finding it on the floor, in Paul's office, in a corner... I've zero idea as to how it wound up there! honest to God, I have no idea whatsoever!

so it's now in the wash and will be getting put in my bag ready for friday, if I don't do it now I will be bound to forget....

speaking about forgetting - i better dig out the cool box and find where the ice packs have gone for taking lollies for after class on fri :o)

zumba #5

after hearing from Lauren that the Irvine class got to the extent that it was so busy Lyna was having to turn people away, I made plans with Mel to pick her up quite a bit earlier so that we'd get there in good time.

despite me getting stuck behind every bus and every old biddy on the road, we got there a little after half past 6, Lyna's now only letting people in through the buzzer system and taking money at the door so she can keep track on the numbers. We were among the first there, along with 2 other girls - we got chatting to Lyna and she was explaining about the fruitless search to find a bigger space and that she feels keeping it first come first served is the fairest way to do it - which we agree with.

I still have to giggle when I remember this, Lyna approached me and said how she was on my FB page, and saw that I have a son who's 14 (he's actually 15 beginning of next month!)... but working it out with my age... hehe! one of the benefits of having a step-son only 13 years younger than you is that you get a lot of weird looks and questions (i must be the only person on earth who views that as a benefit! lol) - I still love going to pick the boys up from school if they're ill and I get scanned by the receptionist and then usually get a comment of "you're WAY to young to be his mum!" lmao! I think it's aided by the fact that in the school environment they refer to me as their mum... i guess it's such a messy situation it's better to keep it that way, it's still pretty much accepted for kids to have fathers who they aren't in contact with, but it's still quite an unusual situation for kids to have absent mothers. Anyway, they've lived with me and Paul full time now for nearly 9 years, they were only 4 and 6 when they came to stay with us - I don't even know if Kieren remembers all that much about his mother....

anyhooo.... class was once again really busy last night, Lyna did have to end up turning some people away which is a real shame, but for health and safety a line has to be drawn somewhere.

it was REALLY hot in the dance studio too, come the end all the mirrors had misted up! the studio doesn't have any direct doors or windows to the outside, unlike the jennie campbell studio. I was sweating buckets and my top was sticking to me big style - it was quite gross really!

I had a really good workout and my co-ordination wasn't too bad either - I've not got those more tricky moves licked yet but I'm getting there.

come the cool-down... this was my time to shine - I love how flexible i still am! (I showed Mel that I can actually still do a crab before we started class!) but balance wise... I'm pretty crap - I was wobbling about all over the place and it seemed to set of something of a chain reaction with even Lyna losing her balance in the end and giving me that frightening glare she does. hehe. note to self: use Mel for stability next time!

Now I do have to admit, Lyna was right with the stretches - I really put a lot into them and I am actually OK today! I was a bit pessimistic and made comment that it doesn't matter if we stretch or not, we're still sore the next day... so I take that back Lyna, you were right.

We stayed behind a bit so Mel could ask Lyna about doing a sponsored Zumba, I plonked my arse down in front of the fan for a while which was luuuuuuuuuuurvly, and then Lyna attacked us with body spray... think that was a nice way of saying we were a bit stinky! hehe. Oh and it's official, Lyna does work up a sweat during class along with the rest of us, and she changes her top - so she practices what she preaches at the beginning of every class. I am most definitely going to bring a change of top to next class... and although contracting pneumonia would be a good excuse for getting my exams put back a bit, Lyna's threatened to not let us back in if we make ourselves ill - so it's not worth it!

Tuesday 27 April 2010

drum roll......

i have lost at least an inch from my bum/hips and an inch from my waist!

I've decided I'm staying away from the scales for now so have no idea about what's going on weight wise - but I am chuffed to bits!

still no appetite..

yesterday yet again I had virtually nothing of an appetite - I managed HALF a crumpet in the morning. I'd made 2 but got half way through the first and really couldn't face eating any more.

I was at my friend Mary's yesterday afternoon after handing in my essay, Mary is in my class at Uni and is doing really well - but she really lacks a lot of confidence in her academic abilities. she was starting to have a bit of a freak out about the sociology essay so I said I'd pop around.

she was on the verge of crying when I got there but she said as soon as I walked in the door she instantly felt better - i must have some strange calming effect on her....

anyway, long story short she finished her essay, ended up really the only things I helped with was showing her how to search .pdf documents faster and computery things like that. Don't even think I helped her with her actual essay coz she wouldn't let me do that even if i were to offer! lol that and we chose different topics to write about so I prob couldn't have helped her even if I wanted to! lol

she got us a take-out to say thanks for the help, I got a small portion of vegetable pakoras, which I ate, and Mary also bought a bag of white choc chip cookies (the big ones!) - I got 1/2 way through 1 and then started feeling uncomfortably full.

I have been making sure I have been keeping my fluid levels up, but they're not up so high that they'd surpress my appetite like this....

last night I felt really bloated, which probably isn't helping my appetite in the slightest, and I've woken this morning feeling quite woozy headed, I'll make sure I get the rest of the home made soup down me today, even if I have to have it in several small meals - I've got Zumba tonight and I really don't wanna end up passing out! lol

Monday 26 April 2010

wha th huh? I'm up! I'm up!

I hate it when you wake with a start - I'm so not used to it anymore, I have one of those alarm clocks with the light that slowly turns on simulating the sun rise. last winter when i was still working I was finding it really hard getting up in the mornings with just a normal alarm clock blaring in my ear - it's just totally not a natural way to wake up! since getting my all singing, all dancing, Wake-Up Light I've been so much better at getting up in the mornings.... I'm actually waking long before the radio goes off.

Dunno why I woke with a start today, I need to go into Uni to hand in my essay (yup, an 80 mile round journey just to hand in an 1500 word essay! fan-bloody-tastic huh?) but other than that i've got nothing urgent going on today that caused me to wake so suddenly.

I suppose I better get a move on - I said to Mary I'd pop by hers as well (she lives only a few mins drive from the uni) and I don't wanna be arriving at dinner time! lol

Sunday 25 April 2010

lack of appetite...

something must be wrong with me.

I've hardly eaten all day - in fact I've barely eaten since yesterday afternoon - today I've had 1 slice of toast at brekkie, 1/2 a bowl of home-made vegetable & lentil soup for lunch, hubby made me dinner but I hardly managed any of it, literally a few mouthfuls (a few quorn chicken chunks in a tomato sauce and a few peas).

and the soup I only had because I really felt like I should eat something as I was starting to feel light headed, but I really wasn't feeling hungry at all!

this is quite unlike me!

I was wanting to start cutting down a bit but this is just ridiculous!

I don't wanna end up passing out on Tuesday, I've embarrassed myself in front of Lyna enough as it is thank you very much.... my god that would be completely mortifying if that were to happen! lol! hence why I've been forcing myself to eat.

I've even just made myself one of those student-friendly snack-in-a-cup type things which aren't great- but aren't all that bad either, it's tomato and herb pasta... it hadn't even finished absorbing all the water before I decided I really didn't want it...

maybe it's just coz I've been quite stressed with this damn essay and upcoming exams? but then I already know that I really only have to scrape passes in my exams to pass the modules so why would i be worried? I know that I already know more than enough to pass the exams...

OK my essay isn't brilliant, but I've really read as much as I can handle and... well I thought my 2nd workbook was a pile of rubbish and ended up getting 68% for it, so my perceptions in my level of work is evidently quite off....

hum... let the pondering continue.

you just wait though, I'll wake up tomorrow and be ravenous alllllll day! lol

yahay!

i have FINISHED my Sociology essay.

1329 words.

turnitin originality report (references excluded) 0%!

gonna go hand it in tomorrow, got zumba on tuesday and I'm gonna need all the energy i can spare without a trip into glassgow!

some days... being female sucks!

hormones - bloody hate the things - nothing but trouble!

my body has to do everything OTT, it really doesn't ever do anything by halves - so when the hormones hit, they hit hard and they hit fast.

I was perfectly fine yesterday, I was almost giddy in fact, then all of a sudden it just disappeared and my mood and self-esteem plummeted, i began feeling really angry and embarrassed at myself for acting like a stupid silly child so much lately.... even though I know in my rational head it was all in good fun and was never taken too far.

I ended up heading off to bed simply because I couldn't face being around anyone, but just ended up laying there with my brain going 1,000 miles an hour, so i got up and did some of the stretches we do in class, it always cheers me up when I can bend so well so i thought it was worth a shot.

don't know why I didn't turn the lights on, but if you're gonna do stretches, i recommend that you do! balance was all over the place, didn't fall or anything but was REALLY wobbly- my head evidently wasn't sure which way was up!

it probably wasn't helped by the fact that i hated the dinner I'd made so all i had to eat since mid-afternoon was half a bag of salad and a non-fat yogurt!

yeah, in hindsight, probably not the best idea....

and it didn't really work, i was still awake at nearly 2am.

I woke bright eyed at just before 8am, which is a rarity for me on any day, let alone a Sunday, and I've really just been mulling about the house ever since.

I've spent some time on the rowing machine this morning in the hope of it getting my adrenaline going again, but really - it's just as boring as being on the exercise bike. I mean, I've always thought the rowing machine and exercise bike were a bit dull - but after you do a workout like zumba, they are just so tediously monotonously boring that I really can't bear to be on them for any length of time, even if I've got music going etc.... they're just so.... dull.... uninspiring... monotonous... take your pick or feel free to add!

just heard a rumble of thunder from outside - great. the changes in the weather really seem to be reflecting in my moods lately....

I've got to get my Sociology essay done today, I'm nearly there with the main body - I'm at just over 800 words and I'm aiming for about 1000. the introduction and conclusion pretty much write themselves afterwards so I'm not worrying about them just yet.

one positive thing about today is I don't seem anywhere near as bloated as I have been these past few days (I very nearly couldn't get my combat trousers on for zumba on Friday, which was bordering on mortifying!) so I'm actually seeing a bit of a difference now from all the workouts- I'm actually really starting to noticed a change in my upper arms and I know my hips are trimmer than they were before, just a shame thanks to the bursitis on my left hip that there's always a prominent swelling which i am hugely self conscious about...

Saturday 24 April 2010

squats

oh jeeze, oh lord... OW!

i've mentioned in my Zumba posts about the dreaded squats, and i just thought I'd give it a go again thinking 'surely it isn't as bad as I remember it being?!'

it is.

i lasted the best of 3 seconds before my legs began screaming at me 'no more! no more!'

so it's true what they taught us in psychology: that if there's someone of authority telling you to keep going with something even if you find it painful/unpleasant, you are more likely to keep going than if left to your own devices... just instead of men in white coats with their electric shock boxes, it's Lyna with the dreaded squats!

how the hell I managed to do it for any length of time in class though is absolutely beyond me!

sociology

I will be so glad to see the back of this module. it's no-where near as bad as when we first started and I've really learned a lot from it which I think will be invaluable in practice.... but I will still be glad to see the back of it! lol

oh I got 68% for my 2nd workbook by the way - mucho chuffed was I! 4% increase on the last one :)

I am now just over 800 words into my essay which is due in on tuesday, I'm aiming for approx 1000-1200 for the main part of the essay, the whole thing is to be between 1200 and 1500 so I'm right on track... I'm doing it about inequalities in health between the genders, it's all about how the health between the genders isn't biological, it's sociological. it's quite interesting really, but I'm starting to run out of material without making my essay so much longer and so much more complicated.

I only need a pass in this essay to pass the module. even if i just scrape a pass with the essay (35%) I will still finish the module with 48%, which is a pass. I've got no intention of just scraping a pass, but it does take a wee bit of weight off the shoulders when you know everything isn't riding on passing this one bit of work. I'd rather keep my summer free thanks very much, no re-sits or re-submissions of essays for me thanks very much!

frustrations....

i am getting a bit frustrated with myself in Zumba class.

a lot of the moves i can do - some i feel i can actually do quite well and I think I put a lot of effort into - adding that little bit more rhythm (yes that might surprise some but i do have a sense of rhythm!) or hip wiggle to, but there are some moves....

there's a couple of moves we do, usually towards the end of the hour, which involves the arms being flung in one direction and the legs going in the other, when I watch Lyna and the others in the class do it, I can totally work out in my head what my limbs should be doing, but for some reason my limbs just don't want to co-operate! either my arms will do the right thing, or my legs, but rarely both at the same time. it's SO frustrating! but thankfully i know when to laugh at myself rather than get worked up about it :o) but it's frustrating none the less...

but to end on a more positive note, I'm dead proud that when we touch our toes right at the end, after the 2nd breath in and out - i can get my forehead to touch my knees! and no my knees aren't bent either! :o) for a size 16 and well over a stone overweight, I've still got a fair amount of flexibility!

Friday 23 April 2010

zumba class #4

well, I survived :o)

it's quite some miracle really, considering the amount of teasing that has been going on lately between me and Lyna on facebook.

it all started after my first zumba blog entry, Lyna saw it and said kissing ass wouldn't make her go any easier on me - the opposite in fact! and well.... once a snowball starts rolling down that mountain there's not much that's gonna stop it. I really hadn't written it to kiss-ass, but hey ho - no-one believes me so i've stopped trying to convince them!

it's a great laugh, I tease Lyna, she threatens to make me feel pain at the next class, Lauren adds to it by joining in not only on FB but also by stoking the fire at her class on monday too, I survive my tuesday class (mainly coz it's SO busy!), I tease Lauren, Lyna sees it and threatens me with even more pain on my friday class...

Mel really loved stirring the situation even more by saying right at the beginning that I'd been disappointed we'd not done squats at the tuesday class, in fact I think Mel is trying to get me killed and is using Lyna as the weapon - I'm not sure why considering I'm her lift in....

it was a wee bit busier today, so I had better chance of hiding, but she still got me a couple of times . To be honest, i walked into the class quite scared of what Lyna might do (or make me do!), it wasn't helped when we were getting ready to start Lyna asked the 2 girls who had been to the class the previous night if they were sore at all - they said no, Lyna put on that wicked grin of hers and said "wrong answer!"I think it was then that I really knew we were for it!
but it was ok in the end - but I did push myself really hard today in the hope that if she saw me really trying she might leave me alone! when we left, we were dancing down the street (well, I was anyway - with my hoody slung over my head going along looking a bit like batman) and I said to Mel "I know I need help, but I have this urge to post up on Lyna's wall 'ha! is that all you've got to throw at me!'" - why am I doing this to myself?!

and so comes the end of another week of zumba for me, but I'm sure much teasing will continue - Lyna did say to me half way through class to watch out on FB... I'm nervous. she's a scary woman - why the hell do I keep poking the lion when I know it's gonna be let loose on me?!

but no matter the teasing and the treats of pain, I am still thoroughly enjoying going to zumba classes, we have such a giggle while having a great workout - i'm back to having a 32" waist ya know! it really is so addictive, I go bright red, which i HATE - i wiggle my numerous wobbly bits about along with everyone else, but I don't care how I look coz I'm feeling fab!

and just for the record - i have NEVER said Zumba is easy! lol

Sunday 18 April 2010

volcanic gunk clouds...

... are hanging over our house just now, really dark muddy brown coloured things mixed in between the normal white fluffy ones. they do look a bit like storm clouds, but tinged brown - it's kinda annoying coz it's hard to judge just by looking out the window what the weather is going to be like, are they really heavy rain clouds or just the gunk clouds?

we've already got a layer of grime on our cars already, and we've only had light spitting so far... it's similar to how the cars looked when the rest of the estate was still being built, but this time there isn't any building work going on anywhere near us - strange to think that grime on our cars has come such a distance!

to sleep perchance to dream..

another benefit of Zumba is that it's been wearing me out so much I've been sleeping REALLY well.

i've always been one of those people who takes forever to fall asleep, I'm a real night owl as it is but even when I'm tired it usually takes me a good hour to fall asleep. now I'm getting tired far earlier than i ever used to and actually falling asleep quite quickly too!

paul came to bed and got up again with me being none the wiser, had to quiz him once i got up as if he'd actually even come to bed!

Saturday 17 April 2010

ZUMBA!

I am sure a lot of you will have heard about Zumba, it's been around for a while now, even I remember seeing the corny american ads on TV years ago and just passing it off as another american craze which us stiff upper lipped british would just laugh at.

but OMG how wrong was I?

one of my sister-in-laws, Gemma, who lives down south, told me she had been going to her local class and that I should really think about going too, she raved about how much fun it was and the weight she was losing, she dug out a link for me for my local class "Zumba with Lyna" so I though, why not?

I posted up on FB and twitter that I was thinking about going and Melanie showed interested in going along too. She doesn't live too far away from me.

So last tuesday, off we went for our first class.

It was busy, REAL busy.

I was initially quite worried that this would be one of those classes where it'd be full of 19 year old supermodel type girls, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it really was just 'normal' women! all shapes and sizes and levels of fitness.

and so, after paying our class fee, we started.

I'll tell ya this now, when they say take a towel and water - TAKE A TOWEL AND WATER (and plenty of it! 1 bottle is NOT enough!) they will be your best friends in the class! take a fun loving attitude too ;o)

oh and if you've got boobs any bigger than about a B cup, you'll need a good sports bra! you have been warned!

the music is fast paced, the moves are hypnotic- they look complicated but Lyna builds them up in easy stages (they really don't expect you to come to the class knowing how to dance like this!), you work up such a sweat and you have GREAT fun! it doesn't really matter if you can't quite get the moves or can't do them quite as well as Lyna, we all go at our own pace, though Lyna is always pushing us to do the best we can, to accentuate our moves that little bit more, to squat that little bit lower....

We do 2 routines and then take a quick break to grab some water and towel ourselves down, you get to the stage where you feel your legs are going to fall off but you keep going because the music is just so infectious, your body wants to move even if you don't!

and so came the end and the cool down, I was quite surprised how flexible I still am when we were doing our stretches :o)

they talk about the "zumba afterglow" and it's quite true! you're left feeling amazing, on this almighty high and you can't help but smile and laugh :o)

I wont kid you, the next day i was sore.

Melanie had already decided she wanted to go to the class on friday afternoon too but I wasn't too sure, I was still pretty sore, but I kinda thought 'i have to go into Ayr anyway for the health library, I may as well, I'll just take it a little easier', so on friday mid-day, off we went again!

Class was much smaller this time, which we had anticipated, got chatting to Lyna and a few of the other women who were taking the class along with us.

and so again, we began.

routine was slightly different, my co-ordination was all over the place compared to Tuesday which annoyed me somewhat, as my co-ordination on tues had been really good (considering I've not danced since i was about 10, i was quite chuffed!), but I still had an absolute blast!

we left at just gone 2pm absolutely buzzing and feeling quite amazing that we'd got through another class!

last night, yet again, I was quite sore - my legs especially, but after having a soak in a bath and a nice long sleep, I woke up this morning ready for more and was actually quite depressed when I realised that I'd have to wait until Tuesday for my next class!

I'm nuts, I know - during the class I am sure Lyna is trying to kill us through dance, and yet we still go back for more! I feel so amazing within myself for going to these classes, it's too early to see a difference in weight or the way my clothes fit, but within myself, I am feeling great!

There's a Zumba beach party in Saltcoats in July, I am absolutely desperate to go! I am on my final 1st year nursing placement then so i wont know until a lot closer to the time if I can go, but I think I'll buy a ticket anyway, just in case.

bring on tuesday!