when you're so tired you could cry...

it's been a while since I've been at that stage, but last night I was there.

Caelan's not well - he came to me yesterday morning saying his throat was sore - not a usual complaint of his - and as soon as he lifted his head I could see his glands bulging from his neck. i suffered from tonsillitis frequently as a kid so this instantly got alarm bells ringing... but it was odd that apart from the sore throat he wasn't actually ill

but i decided to err on the side of caution and phoned my placement to say I wouldn't be in and got him an emergency doctors appointment. doctor confirmed that it's a pretty nasty case of tonsillitis and he's now on a 10 day course of antibiotics.

I went off to Zumba last night with him munching away quite happily to some cheesy pasta- the next time I saw him it was quite a different sight!

it was about 11:30 and I was just about dozing off when I heard him yelling from his room that he'd been sick, went through and what a sorry sight my wee boy was- white as a sheet, drenched with sweat, shivvering... the works

I delt with Caelan while Paul stripped the bed, gave him some more calpol and ibuprofen and we cuddled up on the sofa for a while.... well I say a while - until nearly 3am! my god kids TV is rubbish at that time of night...

I started really struggling to stay awake and so once one of the absolutely awful programmes had finished I hiked us both back to our beds, I felt horrible for it, he was wanting to stay with me, but I needed to sleep and I wasn't going to get any on the sofa. of course as soon as I got him into his bed he started being sick again.... anyway, got him sorted and settled and he went to sleep pretty quickly...

until just gone 5am when I woke to him yelling he'd been sick again- went through to him and he asked about going downstairs with me, again I felt absolutely horrible for it but I had to say no, I was so tired I could have cried, I was pretty much falling asleep on my feet!

I have some vague recollection of Paul coming through at that point as it wasn't far off the time he'd be getting up anyway, so he gave Caelan some more calpol and resettled him.

of course despite falling back into bed I never really got back to sleep, brain on over-drive of the checklist for the morning of all the people I needed to call - I'm on placement at the moment so it's a bit of a bugger, but the plus side is that because I'm on in placement within a school they fully appreciate the fact that kids get sick and when they're sick the best place for them is at home.

I guess I'm quite lucky, apart from when he had pneumonia when he was 14mths old (which landed him in hospital for a couple of days) he's never really been REALLY ill, not to the extent where he's just cuddling into my side feeling totally sorry for himself and me feeling awful wishing there was something more I could do, but as I told him I know what it feels like to have tonsillitis, I know how awful he feels, but there isn't really anything more I can do, we just have to wait for the medicine to start working - the wee boy is being an absoulte star patient, he's only complained a couple of times, other than that he's just been lying on the sofa, sipping water, watching TV, taking his medicine and just getting on with getting better.

and he is still being an absolute sweetheart - it's my birthday on thursday and he got quite upset that we wouldn't be able to go out for a birthday meal because he's ill, of course at his age your birthday is just about the most important day of the year, and he just can't understand why I said not to worry, we'll just have it on another day when he's better.... i'm quite happy to postpone my birthday and stay 28 for a few extra days ;)