weight loss

I know I am probably being stupid and irrational, but my weight is really bothering me at the mo.

I know I am losing weight - the fact my nurse tunic is now pretty much hanging off me is sign of that, but for some reason - it's just bothering me more than usual...

I don't actually know how much I've lost, as I'm going via measuring tape and not scales. my nurse trousers, which were always a bit on the tight side, are now perfectly comfortable and that's great, coz now I'm not constantly going around worried the next time I sit down I'll split the seat open lol

so.. I know I AM losing weight, and I know I AM toning up - but for some reason it's still bothering me. probably the fact my mood has been quite low of late isn't helping, i've been questioning a lot of aspects of my life lately and I guess I just don't see the same person in the mirror that other people see... just like back when i was just over 9st, I honestly didn't realise how god awful I looked, I really was TOO skinny, but back then I didn't see it, all i could see was the label in my clothes and i was happy with that...

I guess really thinking about it it's not so much my weight that's bothering me, but the distribution of my weight - I have hips and thighs and I HATE them, getting decent clothing to fit is a real bugger and I am hugely self-conscious of my lower half, I just want to be a bit more in proportion..... though granted since starting Zumba I've lost a couple of inches from my hips so we're heading in the right direction.

I'm really glad I got into Zumba now, and not only for the weight loss/toning up aspect - but I've made some great new friends and I've now got a couple of new hobbies to focus on! if it hadn't been for Zumba I wouldn't be doing my baking and making the tops, Lyna's now even roped me into baking fairy cakes for the beach party in July! Now that is becoming quite a daunting prospect, esp as of yet I've no idea how many cakes I'm actually going to be baking, but with Mel's help and some careful planning, I'm sure it'll be do-able :) nowt like a challenge!

Most of all I've loved doing the Zumba tops, I get a real kick out of making them, trying out new designs, getting messy with the paints and glue etc... it's been such a long time since I've had a creative outlet, I am really only now realising quite how much I enjoyed it and how much I've missed it. most of my childhood was spent making things, I always had a 'junk box' which i'd dip into and make things with- and my dad still fondly tells the story of when I was very little, having got my hands on the garden string, I'd made a burglar trap in the garden, and managed to catch him! I guess it was one of the things I loved about being a nursery nurse, being able to be creative and get messy and actively encourage the kids to join in - I mean... i think half the time I had more fun than the kids did!

anyway... i'm back off to bed- night night!