... the kids are too
not that they know that *shuuuuuuuuuush!*
I will admit I am one of those parents who show their love by feeding their kids to death. not any more though!
Caelan has always been a solidly built lad, ever since he was born, he's never been one of those really skinny kids - but over recent months he's gone a little bit beyond just being 'solid', and that's my fault. it really hit home when towards the end of P3 (having just turned 8) he was at the stage of not being able to do up his 9-10yrs school trousers. I did a NHS children's BMI calculator and it came out that he was into the overweight category....
so no more meals the size his brothers get, no more piling on the extra chips onto their plates just because I didn't want a bag with only a handful left in, there is more variety, there is more veg, there's wholemeal/ wholegrain/ brown stuff snuck in where I can sneak it in. things are being oven cooked instead of fried.
Caelan is going for walks with the boys when they take the dogs, and we're walking to and from school most days (weather permitting).
and it seems to be working - his trousers now fit nicely and actually have a bit of room in them too! (wish the same could be said for mine!)
meal times are proving to be quite tricky though, because C is on healthy eating/ controlled portions - as is D, but K is skin and bone and could really do with beefing up a bit (he honestly looks like we've not fed him in months! he has an OK appetite and will eat pretty much anything, but his motabolism is through the roof!), so i'm trying to increase the calorific content of K's meals without increasing C's or D's....
Friday, 24 August 2012
Thursday, 23 August 2012
the start of the new me, maybe?
well, considering I've done bugger all exercise for nearly a year (yes I know, naughty!), my measurements haven't changed much. OK I'm not as toned as before, but can't have it all...
I'm quite chuffed with that, coz I worked bloody hard to get to this point.
and no I don't know if my weight has changed, as a wise woman once told me to chuck the scales and go by measurements, and I've never looked back!
I'm really making an effort to eat properly now, to do *some* exercise every day, even if it just walking the boy home from school (it's a 2 mile round trip, including a steep hill, I sweat, so it counts!), I'm yet to re-find my exercise mojo though. there are still some days when all I want to do is sleep because everything just feels all too much, but am hoping once the endorphins start kicking in again it'll all change. in fact today has been the first day in as long as i can remember where I haven't gone back to bed at some point during the day...
we just got a new dog too, Ollie. Ollie is a collie and is only about 6 months old and he has LOADS of energy - quite often this means me being leaped on at 5am... now as pretty much anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't DO mornings, especially over recent weeks when my sleep has been really poor at the best of times due to my anxiety levels and re-occuring nightmares, BUT because he's got so much energy, it means lots of walks, lots of playing chase out the back...
We adopted Ollie from Dogs Trust Glasgow last tuesday. Robbie sadly had to be put to sleep on July 1st as he took a massive seizure and never really recovered. He lost all sensation down his left side and didn't even have basic reflex responses to pain. he was 16, and although that is a mighty fine age for a GSD x Lab and we knew there wasn't long left, it didn't make it any easier having to make that decision. thankfully the vet was able to put him to sleep here, in the comfort of his own home. obviously having to deal with this so soon after losing mum was another emotional blow i really could have done without.
Sophie has spent pretty much her whole life with Robbie and so was really mourning the loss, we knew we had to get another dog before I went back to Uni so she wasn't in the house herself all day. so off after we came back from London over the summer Paul toddled to the rehoming centre and a week later Ollie joined the family. the similarities between Ollie and Robbie are sometimes quite scary - he's even got the same floppy left ear Robbie had, which is something we didn't discover until after we had decided to adopt him...
anyway, going off point.
I went to tesco a couple days ago and bought loads of whole foods (lots of stuff I'm not even sure what to do with!), wholegrain stuff, frozen berries, fresh veggies, salad, soya milk etc and yes, I'm even back onto the green tea (yack yack yack yack!)
now I've been nagged to death about my protein intake, which as a vegetarian is most people's point of concern, and I'll be honest - even though I fob people off and say it's fine, some days (weeks?) my protein intake is shockingly poor - so this has been my real focal point in my diet - and ya know what? actually as long as you eat sensibly then protein intake isn't all that much of an issue
my issue is that recently i've not been eating sensibly, a lot of days I don't have much of an appetite, and the days I do have an appetite all I want to eat is crap - so it's proving to be quite a challenge a) to make myself eat regularly and b) to eat good healthy stuff when I do eat.
I am already feeling better for it, from the inside. now all i need to do is keep it up!
I'm quite chuffed with that, coz I worked bloody hard to get to this point.
and no I don't know if my weight has changed, as a wise woman once told me to chuck the scales and go by measurements, and I've never looked back!
I'm really making an effort to eat properly now, to do *some* exercise every day, even if it just walking the boy home from school (it's a 2 mile round trip, including a steep hill, I sweat, so it counts!), I'm yet to re-find my exercise mojo though. there are still some days when all I want to do is sleep because everything just feels all too much, but am hoping once the endorphins start kicking in again it'll all change. in fact today has been the first day in as long as i can remember where I haven't gone back to bed at some point during the day...
we just got a new dog too, Ollie. Ollie is a collie and is only about 6 months old and he has LOADS of energy - quite often this means me being leaped on at 5am... now as pretty much anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't DO mornings, especially over recent weeks when my sleep has been really poor at the best of times due to my anxiety levels and re-occuring nightmares, BUT because he's got so much energy, it means lots of walks, lots of playing chase out the back...
We adopted Ollie from Dogs Trust Glasgow last tuesday. Robbie sadly had to be put to sleep on July 1st as he took a massive seizure and never really recovered. He lost all sensation down his left side and didn't even have basic reflex responses to pain. he was 16, and although that is a mighty fine age for a GSD x Lab and we knew there wasn't long left, it didn't make it any easier having to make that decision. thankfully the vet was able to put him to sleep here, in the comfort of his own home. obviously having to deal with this so soon after losing mum was another emotional blow i really could have done without.
Sophie has spent pretty much her whole life with Robbie and so was really mourning the loss, we knew we had to get another dog before I went back to Uni so she wasn't in the house herself all day. so off after we came back from London over the summer Paul toddled to the rehoming centre and a week later Ollie joined the family. the similarities between Ollie and Robbie are sometimes quite scary - he's even got the same floppy left ear Robbie had, which is something we didn't discover until after we had decided to adopt him...
anyway, going off point.
I went to tesco a couple days ago and bought loads of whole foods (lots of stuff I'm not even sure what to do with!), wholegrain stuff, frozen berries, fresh veggies, salad, soya milk etc and yes, I'm even back onto the green tea (yack yack yack yack!)
now I've been nagged to death about my protein intake, which as a vegetarian is most people's point of concern, and I'll be honest - even though I fob people off and say it's fine, some days (weeks?) my protein intake is shockingly poor - so this has been my real focal point in my diet - and ya know what? actually as long as you eat sensibly then protein intake isn't all that much of an issue
my issue is that recently i've not been eating sensibly, a lot of days I don't have much of an appetite, and the days I do have an appetite all I want to eat is crap - so it's proving to be quite a challenge a) to make myself eat regularly and b) to eat good healthy stuff when I do eat.
I am already feeling better for it, from the inside. now all i need to do is keep it up!
i'm still here
i know it's been ages, but it's been a rough few months.
last october I got the news that my mum's cancer was back, but that it had spread and wasn't curable. that was one weekend i wont forget in a hurry. it was the big Party in Pink Zumbathon in London on the sunday- we even met Beto, it was one of the best and worst weekends of my life.
a hell of lot has gone on since then which is still way too painful to write about, but ultimately she passed away at 3:10am on April 11th, a month before her 61st birthday. she held on for my parents 36th wedding anniversary on the 10th. OK she wasn't conscious, she wasn't aware, but she was still with us.
I am still trying to get my head around it all. I think being a student nurse was both good and bad. on the one hand it meant I could kinda distance myself from the true heartbreakingness (is that even a word?) of the situation and just be there and be as useful as I could be, knowing that ultimately there was nothing i could do that would change the outcome. but on the other hand, it's meant that all the emotions from all those months were being pushed aside and are only just starting to be faced.
My parents had got tickets to the Olympics, mum had been desperate to see Jessica Ennis in the heptathlon and was delighted to get tickets for the first day. So it was decided I would go instead.
that morning I got up bright and early, I had some breakfast and went for a shower, and half way through getting dressed I had a complete and total meltdown, I started crying and I didn't stop for probably 2 hours. I desperately wanted to go and cheer Jessica on for mum, but the guilt just ate me up inside and I just couldn't do it, it just felt so wrong. Kieren ended up going instead.
I've been off of university since November, initially just on a sick line, but then when it became obvious things were moving with mum far quicker than expected i decided to go on time out. that was both an easy and a hard decision to make - I wasn't coping with the workload, my brain was point blank refusing to work, if i'd kept going i would have failed, even my placement picked up on something being up, I tried to go back to placement after my initial 2 weeks sick leave and managed all of half a day... but it meant saying goodbye to an amazing class and quite a few good close friends. these friends have now just celebrated the end of their student days and upcoming graduation, and that's been really hard.
I start back at University Sept 10th, and if I'm totally honest, I am scared out of my mind - I am really eager to get back to some sort of routine, some sort of normality, but I am SO scared that I wont cope, that small things will set me off when on placement, that I wont remember ANYTHING from before. I should be going back to the same team I was with before, I've known them since 1st placement of 1st year, so they know me well and I know they're understanding of the situation- but the anxiety and self-doubt is still there and mounting by the day.
last october I got the news that my mum's cancer was back, but that it had spread and wasn't curable. that was one weekend i wont forget in a hurry. it was the big Party in Pink Zumbathon in London on the sunday- we even met Beto, it was one of the best and worst weekends of my life.
a hell of lot has gone on since then which is still way too painful to write about, but ultimately she passed away at 3:10am on April 11th, a month before her 61st birthday. she held on for my parents 36th wedding anniversary on the 10th. OK she wasn't conscious, she wasn't aware, but she was still with us.
I am still trying to get my head around it all. I think being a student nurse was both good and bad. on the one hand it meant I could kinda distance myself from the true heartbreakingness (is that even a word?) of the situation and just be there and be as useful as I could be, knowing that ultimately there was nothing i could do that would change the outcome. but on the other hand, it's meant that all the emotions from all those months were being pushed aside and are only just starting to be faced.
My parents had got tickets to the Olympics, mum had been desperate to see Jessica Ennis in the heptathlon and was delighted to get tickets for the first day. So it was decided I would go instead.
that morning I got up bright and early, I had some breakfast and went for a shower, and half way through getting dressed I had a complete and total meltdown, I started crying and I didn't stop for probably 2 hours. I desperately wanted to go and cheer Jessica on for mum, but the guilt just ate me up inside and I just couldn't do it, it just felt so wrong. Kieren ended up going instead.
I've been off of university since November, initially just on a sick line, but then when it became obvious things were moving with mum far quicker than expected i decided to go on time out. that was both an easy and a hard decision to make - I wasn't coping with the workload, my brain was point blank refusing to work, if i'd kept going i would have failed, even my placement picked up on something being up, I tried to go back to placement after my initial 2 weeks sick leave and managed all of half a day... but it meant saying goodbye to an amazing class and quite a few good close friends. these friends have now just celebrated the end of their student days and upcoming graduation, and that's been really hard.
I start back at University Sept 10th, and if I'm totally honest, I am scared out of my mind - I am really eager to get back to some sort of routine, some sort of normality, but I am SO scared that I wont cope, that small things will set me off when on placement, that I wont remember ANYTHING from before. I should be going back to the same team I was with before, I've known them since 1st placement of 1st year, so they know me well and I know they're understanding of the situation- but the anxiety and self-doubt is still there and mounting by the day.
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